Stupid meds; i'm all itchy. T_T
So it's midnight, my tummy hurts, i'm itchy, and still awake. Trying to come up with some more ideas for AnimeFest's art auction. I currently have a couple of Furuba pieces sketched out, and an A:tLA piece in the works. I'm thinking of doing something for Death Note and Naruto, as well as some more Avatar stuff. Would you believe that i've never actually seen Death Note, and only about 6 or so episodes of Naruto? But they're supposed to be uber-popular, so i'm going with the flow; they'll probably sell better.
Mmm, what else. Oh! Got a friend coming down to visit for the summer; can't WAIT to see her again. She's
here on DA, and is an incredible artists. We were rivals in school, and best buds. Hopefully i'll get to see her and her sister, also an awesome friend, this weekend, and go see a movie/go shopping and stuff.
Trying to lose my baby fat; so far it hasn't been going so well. I've actually gained a few pounds in the last few weeks, cos for some reason my appetite has spiked like crazy. Bought a whole bunch of chocolate today, too. My bad xD Anyway, trying out the Acai berry supplements, plus some green tea stuff, PLUS doing some walking/cardio stuff to help shed the pounds. I'm at about 182 right now -shudder- and intend to get to at least 160 by the end of August, when AnimeFest rolls around. I think that's a pretty reasonable goal. My ideal weight is 140-150, but i'm going to stick to an easier goal for now.
Sorry, that's probably pretty boring. I don't really have anything else to right about, though. Oh, the not-boyfriend is headed for prison sometime in the next month or so, for another year and few months, until he's eligible for parole. Going to wait until after he's out to see what i want to do with him. We won't be together, AREN'T really together right now, so i'm going to see how he functions in the real world for about a year or so after he's released, to know if he's changed or not. Cos i REFUSE to live like that again, and won't. The first sign of drinking, or any kind of abuse, and i'm gone, and so are his kids, and too friggin' bad for him.
-sigh- Anyway, i just wanted to update this again. I don't really use MySpace much, although i should, cos both Laura and Carly are on there, and i'd like to try and keep in contact with them as much as possible. I don't want to drop off the radar like i've been doing for the past year or so. Being with Josh sort of cut me off from everyone else, but i'm trying to get past that and start living again. It's sorta painful, but nice at the same time. The only thing i have to worry about right now are the kids, and how much i'm away from them, especially Rae, my oldest. But i can go out and party if i want to (not that i do in the first place, i'm just saying), go spend the night at friends' houses, talk to them on the phone all i want (or at least as long as our minutes allow), etc. It's.....an amazing feeling, freedom. I don't have this weight pulling me down anymore. No more worrying about what Josh will do if i'm home later than i said i'd be, no more screaming at each other until 5 in the morning, no more driving him back and forth from his grandparents' at 3 in the morning and having him accuse me of everything under the sun, no more not being there for my kids. I still have some trust issues, and anger problems, but my new meds have helped a lot with that. I don't cry every single day now, for stupid reasons. I don't throw things and scream bloody murder at my mom for...just no reason at all. I've been able to reign in my temper, overall, for a while now, and it's actually a pretty good feeling, to know i haven't said anything lately that i regret, or have to avoid my family just because i've said/done something they disapprove of, that
i disapprove of.
Things are finally starting to look up -knocks on wood- . It really is the beginning of a better life.