It's murraben's birthday week!
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murraben

Ze Vuffie.
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...it's about embracing the disease. :la:

IT'S FINALLY HERE, PEOPLE. Starting Monday, July 26th, in the year of our Lord 2010...Zutara Week begins again.

:star: The Tasks :star:

:bulletred: Day 1: Family
:bulletblue: Day 2: Change
:bulletred: Day 3: Pain
:bulletblue: Day 4: Date
:bulletred: Day 5: Harmony
:bulletblue: Day 6: Alternate Universe
:bulletred: Day 7: Storm

Go to :iconzutara-week: for more detailed info, and to join our cause.

VIVA ZUTARA!

update
I'm crying i'm SO FUCKING FRUSTRATED. I can't get ANY of these finished. It just turned Thursday, and i'm PULLING MY HAIR OUT. What the hell is wrong with me???!!! I can't get anything to turn out right. ANYTHING.
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...definitely.

2 min read
So much to be done, so little damn time. @_@;

Got about five different art projects going on, all at once. All Transformers. One's about 3/4 finished, one's got the lineart all done, one has the ROUGH lineart completed, aaaaand the last two haven't made it past my sketchbook. Yet.

I've got a preview of the digital stuff up: fav.me/d2tfhks

Mostly of Screamer (three outta five! What can i say; he's my kinda guy). The other two will (supposedly) be of Thundercracker and Sunstreaker. And! The dreaded OC. FEAR HER.

I can't wait to show y'all what I've accomplished! I feel like i might finally be getting the hang of these guys - though i have to admit, it's a lot easier with my tablet, where i don't have to worry about eraser marks and worn-through paper.

I intend to auction off at least a couple of the aforementioned pieces at AnimeFest, in Dallas this coming September. My friend :iconnezumousii: and I are trying to get our paws on a table at Artist's Alley, for commissions and such, so feel free to look us up and stop by! She'll be pimping her delectable Pokemon art, while i will be handing out TF/Furry/Gaia Online whatnot.

...Dude. I am so. Excited. For these projects. I think I've come a long way in a (relatively) short amount of time, and I'm rather proud of myself. My coloring's gone up a notch or three, and hey! Backgrounds! FINALLY. Plus, y'know...GIANT ALIEN ROBOTS.

Again, wish me luck, everyone. PEACE.
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Progress?

1 min read
Still trying to work on my artz. Got a handy-dandy Jack Hamm anatomy book with my Christmas money - joy. Been doodling Transformers crap.

So you can see i've been putting my purchase to good use. </sarcasm>

Going to try to get more artwork done this year - plus actually FINISH A STORY. Working on a Transformers fic right now, actually.

Nothing much more to say, really. That's all i really want to concentrate on. Unfortunately, i have two -little- kids, so that's going to be something of a challenge. Wish me luck.
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I will not be submitting any more art until i feel i have improved upon my new style. I have been working relentlessly the past few weeks, but i won't be done for a while. And hopefully by October, i will be able to afford some Prismacolor markers - the big pack. I've already tried charcoal and color pencil; i now hope to get some soft pastels soon, and work on that. Until then, nothing.

I don't know if i'm going to go to AnimeFest this year - i kind of spent my fee money on other stuff, and don't know if i'll have enough this month. Plus, i won't have anywhere to stay for the weekend, since it's over an hour away. We'll have to see. I may just wait for A-Kon in the spring.

In other news, i feel like a fucking yo-yo. Yanked in, then spun back out again. It's beyond frustrating, and depressing.

That's all.
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Better Life

4 min read
Stupid meds; i'm all itchy. T_T

So it's midnight, my tummy hurts, i'm itchy, and still awake. Trying to come up with some more ideas for AnimeFest's art auction. I currently have a couple of Furuba pieces sketched out, and an A:tLA piece in the works. I'm thinking of doing something for Death Note and Naruto, as well as some more Avatar stuff. Would you believe that i've never actually seen Death Note, and only about 6 or so episodes of Naruto? But they're supposed to be uber-popular, so i'm going with the flow; they'll probably sell better.

Mmm, what else. Oh! Got a friend coming down to visit for the summer; can't WAIT to see her again. She's :iconnezumousii: here on DA, and is an incredible artists. We were rivals in school, and best buds. Hopefully i'll get to see her and her sister, also an awesome friend, this weekend, and go see a movie/go shopping and stuff.

Trying to lose my baby fat; so far it hasn't been going so well. I've actually gained a few pounds in the last few weeks, cos for some reason my appetite has spiked like crazy. Bought a whole bunch of chocolate today, too. My bad xD Anyway, trying out the Acai berry supplements, plus some green tea stuff, PLUS doing some walking/cardio stuff to help shed the pounds. I'm at about 182 right now -shudder- and intend to get to at least 160 by the end of August, when AnimeFest rolls around. I think that's a pretty reasonable goal. My ideal weight is 140-150, but i'm going to stick to an easier goal for now.

Sorry, that's probably pretty boring. I don't really have anything else to right about, though. Oh, the not-boyfriend is headed for prison sometime in the next month or so, for another year and few months, until he's eligible for parole. Going to wait until after he's out to see what i want to do with him. We won't be together, AREN'T really together right now, so i'm going to see how he functions in the real world for about a year or so after he's released, to know if he's changed or not. Cos i REFUSE to live like that again, and won't. The first sign of drinking, or any kind of abuse, and i'm gone, and so are his kids, and too friggin' bad for him.

-sigh- Anyway, i just wanted to update this again. I don't really use MySpace much, although i should, cos both Laura and Carly are on there, and i'd like to try and keep in contact with them as much as possible. I don't want to drop off the radar like i've been doing for the past year or so. Being with Josh sort of cut me off from everyone else, but i'm trying to get past that and start living again. It's sorta painful, but nice at the same time. The only thing i have to worry about right now are the kids, and how much i'm away from them, especially Rae, my oldest. But i can go out and party if i want to (not that i do in the first place, i'm just saying), go spend the night at friends' houses, talk to them on the phone all i want (or at least as long as our minutes allow), etc. It's.....an amazing feeling, freedom. I don't have this weight pulling me down anymore. No more worrying about what Josh will do if i'm home later than i said i'd be, no more screaming at each other until 5 in the morning, no more driving him back and forth from his grandparents' at 3 in the morning and having him accuse me of everything under the sun, no more not being there for my kids. I still have some trust issues, and anger problems, but my new meds have helped a lot with that. I don't cry every single day now, for stupid reasons. I don't throw things and scream bloody murder at my mom for...just no reason at all. I've been able to reign in my temper, overall, for a while now, and it's actually a pretty good feeling, to know i haven't said anything lately that i regret, or have to avoid my family just because i've said/done something they disapprove of, that i disapprove of.

Things are finally starting to look up -knocks on wood- . It really is the beginning of a better life.
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Featured

ZUTARA WEEK '10 - It's not about finding a cure... by murraben, journal

...definitely. by murraben, journal

Progress? by murraben, journal

Don't Funk With My by murraben, journal

Better Life by murraben, journal